“Further cultural experiences,” or “But did you have a ham cake for Christmas?”

Photo courtesy of Publix in Jacksonville.  This was meant to be a cake for Christmas.  I’m assuming that I don’t understand because I don’t celebrate Christmas and I’m from NY.  Does Santa bring hams down your chimney in Florida?  I hope so.

I’m a Virgo

In my last post I talked about the amazingness* of UK television. I take it back.

Today I accidentally watched Univision for the first time where everyday at 6pm, Walter Mercado tells you your horoscope. I didn’t even know I believed in horoscopes, but anyone wearing sparkles will make a believer out of me.  This video doesn’t really do him justice. Today he was wearing a large pink sparkly cape. I don’t speak Spanish. The person I watched this with today told me Walter said that I’m going to have a lot of money and am very intelligent. Awesome.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “untitled“, posted with vodpod

*Amazingness is apparently not a real word. Neither is amazingosity.

So bad its good: TV commercials from the UK

When I lived in the UK, I watched alot of tv. What else is new? The same programs as at home, but with an announcer with a different accent. Having done alot of traveling and meeting people from all over, I firmly believe that the international language is not love. Its Joey, Ross Chandler, Homer, Bart and Lisa. I also love countdown shows about the shocking moments of football, rugby and cricket(and maybe one day I”ll be able to follow a cricket game), and naked people on at like 9pm and the equivalent of basic cable. But of course what I love the most is commercials. Scientific fact: jingles stopped in american television commercials in 1995. We now have lots of snarky commercials that are sometimes funny. I miss the days when the tv sang to me about chocolate being scrumptious when it crunches, or that we should kiss a little longer. There are plenty of singing adverts in the UK. They will still sing you about the joys of making your own french fries at home:

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more about “Mc Cain : chip factory ( chips glorio…“, posted with vodpod

 

Oh my god!

Johnny Demarco was a virgin too!

Stay out of the ravine!

computer crafts

You too can be a graphic artist even if you don’t understand anything about photoshop or other complicated programs. All you need is a basic understanding of MS Paint and how to cut and paste.  A love of pac-man is helpful, but not required.

Relieving stress and staying an enthusiast

I have a job that I like very much but is crazy crazy stressful at times. The short version: my whole job is about talking with and visiting people, and then talking to other people about the visits and talks we had. Then I talk to the people I visit about the people I talked to them about. Then I have to write notes and reports about my talks and visits. Now, a good percentage of the people I talk to are lovely. But given that my job is talking and listening to people I have it on good authority that people are CRAZY. Which leads us to today’s blog about relieving stress.

My punching bag.

At the moment I’m trying to get back into using my punching bag a minimum of 15 minutes a day (or 14, or 10 or 5). If someone drives you crazy about something dumb, I find that punching and kicking a bag is generally a better option than that person. About 10 minutes is usually is enough to make you realize how preposturous it was that you were angry in the first place. I got mine on craigslist, but kickboxing classes are also fun. Just check to ensure they have bags and you’re not just punching the air (not as satisfying). Added bonus: good workout.

Dog and Bunny

The new way I am dealing with people being nuts is practicing my more difficult conversations with Dog and Bunny.  Dog and Bunny listen calmly when I reason with them.  Reasoning with them in a funny voice also tends to be a great stress reliever. When people call and yell at me on the phone, sometimes I can pretend that bunny is yelling instead.  And that is adorable.

I highly recommend this. It has some obvious pros in that it takes much less space than a punching bag and you can keep stuffed animals in your office (depending on where you work). This has the obvious con that people will think you are crazy if you tell them about it. In my professional opinion the therapeutic and comedic benefits of this are so great that you should ignore them. Or keep your office door shut.

When all else fails come home and watch some Degrassi-ridiculousness….

Obviously you can engage in more traditional stress relief like journaling, making a stress ball out of a balloon, playing with your many guitars, watching 90210, crafting, etc.

Enthusiam for the “N.”

The next time you’re home sick or you break your fifth left metatarsal (try not to do that), I highly recommend that you watch the N. Most of the programming on the N falls into the fabulous category of “so bad its good.”  Having said that, I am ridiculously excited that teen girls have the N to watch because of its incredibly progressive views on social issues.  When I was 13 I had My So-Called Life for about 5 minutes, and then of course 90210 for the 10 thousand years that it was on.   I have much love for 90210 (so bad its good), as stated in previous blogs.  Having said that, 90210 had much disdain for the issues of the 90s.*  Easy examples of this include every episode where someone was raped.  Re-watching 90210, it was positively rape-tastic.  Funny enough, every time someone was raped or accused of rape on 90210 the girl was somehow at fault.  Remember when Val was drugged with roofies and Noah had sex with her?  Totally not his fault as he was not the one that drugged her…y’know, even though he had sex with an unconscious girl.

I draw your attention now to several examples of progressiveness on the N.

Yes its cheesy.  Its a PSA so it should be.  Wanda Sykes is in another one.  It is still amazing. Was anyone telling you that you shouldn’t call things gay when you were 12?  Me neither.

South of Nowhere.

A show that aired for 4 years and portrayed a teenage girl coming out, and her very intense relationship with her girlfriend.  I never really watched this so I don’t have anything enlightening to say.  I think just the fact that this show existed is pretty amazing.

Degrassi: The Next Generation

My love for Degrassi will need a future blog.  Other names for this show: “Boy those girls are fertile!” or “We will hit you over the head with a lesson.”  On Degrassi, someone will run past some oily rags and an adult will yell “stop that you’ll start a fire!”  The school burns down at the end of the episode of course.  And don’t you even think of having sex without a condom, or having oral sex in the ravine to earn a bracelet (you’ll get pregnant and/or gonorrhea respectively).  Having said that there was an amazing episode this season that, in the most heavy handed way ever, taught teenage GIRLS that masturbation is okay.  Two girls find a vibrator and bring it to school.  One of the girls gets caught (it vibrates in her bag and her teacher thinks its a cell phone–Heeeelarious), but the girls don’t get in any trouble and it just generates conversation with one of the girl’s super conservative religious mom.  Other lessons learned from Degrassi:

• its okay to be gay or have a learning disability
• your mom will forgive you if you get gonorrhea
• whoever you are talking to on the internet is definitely a sex predator.  When the police catch him, they will take your computer away as evidence.

*All except condoms in school–I think Donna Martin had good ideas about that.